May 4th 2022, 5:47 pm

Yesterday I doubted if I'd make it to Canada. Today I doubt I won't.

After a restless night I woke our camp at 5 am to a faulty forecast of rain. It turns out a power line light flashing in the heavy morning fog looks eerily similar to lightning. None-the-less everyone got up pretty quickly. What a laugh.

The early morning climb to Lake Morena, among the protection of low laying clouds, was easier than anticipated. There we got some food, filled up water, and like a flock of geese continued north.

As the day warmed my pack got heavier. Or so it seems. And with that my commitment to positive thinking was fairly challenged. By the time we stopped for lunch I was full of aches, blisters, and angst. Laying under the stars at night just before passing into a deep sleep I realized the physical demand was only a trigger to what had really been troubling me. Since the beginning of the day I hadn't found a moment of solitude. Being surrounded by a group of people is phenomenal, especially with so many other first time thru hikers, yet I hadn't yet found my footing on trail and already felt bogged down by the movements of the group. I found myself moving in sync with others, even if though it was off my own rhythm. Having passed through the day as one might a 9-5 (or in this case a 5-7) I committed to make an active effort to really own each days experience. So at night I camped with a smaller group of people, allowing myself to wake later, taking time in the morning to stretch, and do some exercise (again with David), and "fall behind" on trail. Already I've noticed more wildlife, beautiful scenery, and inner calm. These are the lessons I've come here to learn.

Today I took it slower, only hiking 10 miles and spending time to sit and enjoy the scenery. Most of this entry was written from the side of a stream from which I refilled. Later on in the day I was suprised to see everyone at the cafe in Mount Laguna. Though we've known each other for less than 48 hours it felt like bumping into old friends. After a few hours of eating, chatting, charging up, and showering, they all moved forward while I stay back to camp with some new friends. Finding my own pace was definitely the right move. The ways of the trail are making themselves known early.